Boredom (a poem)

Woman rolling her eyes in boredom

'Boredom is the desire for desires'.

Tolstoy might have been right.

And the song with the line:

'When you found me you were bored'

Struck me; is it me?

Am i the evil ex?

The guilt weighs heavy on me.

Wanting you

Only makes me hate to wait so long.

I didn't know: I'm innocent.

I didn't know how I felt

'Till I ended it.

But I know I miss you

Whether I miss what you gave me

A desire when I was bored

Or just someone to text

I feel guilty

That I am so pathetic

Finding joy in someone else

Not made to last.

I hate myself

For that.

It's not really who I am

I beg, I beg of you

Not to think that's all I am.

But maybe the songs were right.

Maybe love is a drug you're addicted to

And for you I have withdrawal.

But it's not love -

How can it be?

When we've never even been... a 'we'.

But maybe that just makes it even more painful.

A love abandoned before it's even begun.

Cruelty prodding my heart with a gun.

What could have become

Of us?

All I ask is that you can forgive me

For how will I get over

The burning question of who we could be?

Copyright: Helen Flower

Written: 21/01/2025

Edited: 27/01/25